What It Takes To Be A Starbucks Die-Hard

I’m a Starbucks fan, but I’m not a die hard. And that’s a subtle, but critical distinction. I realized this morning that I’ll never reach die hard status. Not many people do. It’s reserved for the truly elite – The ones that require a completely different level of all-hands-on-deck customer service that is a joy to watch from the sidelines.

Every Starbucks regular, at one point or another in their quest for 15 minutes of caffeinated heaven, has had the pleasure of witnessing a die-hard order their favorite, ultra-customized coffee cocktail and perhaps broken out in laughter. This morning’s die-hard prize for most obnoxiously detailed order goes to the “Venti Half-Caf Non-Fat Vanilla Latte Extra Hot With Two Pumps of Caramel…no water.”  The entire line heard it and tuned into what was going on because the woman holding the pocket poodle had to repeat it 3 times. The poor girl taking the order had a mini meltdown, and then tried to recover by staring blankly at the cash register buttons in an attempt to try and parse all the information. It was total system overload. I had the biggest smile on my face – it was one of those moments that Julie and I would have appreciated together in gleeful silence. Until you get to the point where you’re ordering drinks that require 2 or 3 Starbucks employees to stop what they’re doing and make an assembly line, sorry, you’re just a regular.